


But I Remember

by B00kw0rm92



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-15
Updated: 2012-08-15
Packaged: 2017-11-12 05:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B00kw0rm92/pseuds/B00kw0rm92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one shot taking place after "Heart Like Mine" - spoilers for both parts. I've taken the story into a bit of an AU direction based on what I think may have happened that we weren't shown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Remember

She was sitting on a swing in the park when he walked up. She couldn't decide if she wanted to smile at him or yell at him, and so she came to the conclusion that it would be best to let him make the first move. 

He sat on the swing next to her and things were quiet for a while before he finally spoke, "I'm so sorry, Clare." he said, sounding almost more sincere then she could have hoped for. 

She still wasn't sure if she could trust him. "I don't know if sorry is good enough." she replied. 

He stared at the ground for what felt like ages before he spoke again. "I never should have listened to a word coach said. Listening to him, having anything to do with him ... it's the worst mistake I've ever made in my life. I was so stupid." he said, finishing almost in a whisper. 

She was thrown for a loop, what happened to the boy who was singing the coach's praises just couple of weeks ago? Suddenly she was angry, sure that he didn't mean a word he was saying. "Since when is hanging out with the amazing, wonderful coach a stupid thing to do? I thought you were his favorite player! I thought his every word was law! If your going to lie to me, at least make it believable, KC!" she said, raising her voice higher then she meant to in her anger. 

He didn't seem to know how to reply and there was another long silence before she caught his barely whispered words, "He wasn't who I thought he was." 

He may have seemed like he was telling the truth, but she wasn't quite ready to give up her anger. "Oh, did your precious coach ruin the image you had of him by getting arrested?" she snapped. 

"I was the one who got him arrested, Clare." he softly replied. 

That calmed her down quickly as she struggled to figure out what he was talking about, "You?" she finally managed to say. 

KC looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he continued to explain. "He had a gun in his car." he told her. 

That didn't lessen her confusion at all. "He was your hero, KC. Why would you report him for that? He wasn't planning to shoot anybody, was he?" she asked.

KC took a deep breath, and he couldn't make himself meet her eyes when he spoke again. "No. He ... he gave me beer. He showed me porn. He ..." there was a long pause, "he tried to get me to sleep with a prostitute." he finished. Clare still looked slightly confused, a lot of guys she knew wouldn't protest that. At the look on her face, he sighed. "He said he would show me how. He - he wanted to be involved." he explained, with a shiver of disgust. 

Clare was fairly certain her mouth was hanging open for several seconds before she realized it. "I'm sorry." she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. She didn't miss the flinch, even though she didn't understand why. 

"Can you forgive me? Please?" he asked softly. 

She closed her eyes for a moment before responding, "What about Jenna?". 

He ran his hand through his hair. "I broke up with her last week. I never liked her like I do you. Another huge mistake." he told her. 

She gave a tentative smile to the boy she still loved, "Of course I forgive you." she said. They sat in silence for a while before Clare spoke again. "Is this why you've been so ... off the past couple weeks?" she asked. 

It took him so long to reply that she thought he wasn't going to. "He said he never touched me." he said in a voice she never would have heard if she had been sitting any farther away. She froze. The words themselves didn't hold much meaning, but the way he said them scared her. She found herself holding her breath as she waited for him to continue. "But I remember." he finished, in a voice just as quiet, looking at the ground as though he was afraid to meet her eyes. She couldn't help but let out a gasp. How could she have missed that? Granted, she had been avoiding him, but if anyone should have realized it should have been her. She knew how Darcy had acted, and even though this wasn't exactly the same - at least she hoped it wasn't - she remembered signs she should have noticed. She should have realized something was wrong. 

"Oh, KC!" was all she managed, slowly putting a hand on his shoulder for the second time and wanting to cry when he flinched again.

"I didn't remember at first though. I was ... I was drunk. So was he. He said I had to spend the night and I - I felt really weird the next morning, but I didn't remember until later. When I ... realized what he wanted me to do - what he wanted to do, with that woman. He was right up against me and ... I remembered something. I ran. And that night at the game I took the gun I knew he had in his car and I took it to a couple teachers. I told them about the porn, and the woman, and that we were drunk. But I didn't tell them ... what I remembered." he explained, pausing at times and rushing though it at others. He still wouldn't look up, but she had a feeling he was crying. 

She couldn't believe this was happening. Finally her mind calmed down enough to let her ask a rational question. "Have you told anybody else?" she asked, as gently as she could.

He shook his head, "Just you." he replied. 

She tried to think of what else she could say without sounding stupid. "Are you ... how have you been doing with this?" she asked carefully. 

"I'm ok." he lied, before seeming to realize she would never buy that. "I've had some ... dreams. I remembered some more. Still not everything, I don't think. Just flashes. I guess I had more to drink then I thought." he answered. Clare thought this sounded a little to familiar to what Darcy had told her and couldn't help wondering if that monster of a coach had drugged KC She thought it was best not to mention that. 

"I wish that I could make things better for you, KC." she said softly. 

"You do. I've missed you." he replied. 

Her heart seemed to melt a bit, "I've missed you too." she said. 

She heard him take a deep breath before he spoke again. "I never should have listened to him. I never should have stayed with him. I thought he cared about me. I just ... I liked that somebody seemed to care." she tell by his voice that he was crying again. 

"I care." she told him. He looked up and finally met her eyes, she could see the tears in his as he gave her a shaky smile. "It will be ok." she added gently, giving him a small smile of her own. He nodded, agreeing even though he wasn't sure it would and he took her hand. They stayed on the swings until it got dark.


End file.
